Saturday, March 28, 2015

1 year since you left...

It's been 1 year since you left us. Some days it seems like 100 years, some days it seems like yesterday. So many things have happened.

7 more months of carrying my little boy.
1 birthday.
2 weeks in the hospital.
1 amazing baby boy was born.
3 weeks in the hospital.
1 open heart surgery.
10s of trips to the cardiologist.
1 Thanksgiving.
1 Christmas.
1 more open heart surgery.
5 days in the hospital.
1 super amazing boy keeps bringing joy to our lives.

But I know you were there for it all. I see you every time I see my boy. I see it in his eye when he's awake and I see your face when he's asleep. I know you protected him during his surgeries. And I know you look over him every day. I see him looking at the same spot every morning, laughing and smiling like he's seeing an old friend. I know it's you. I feel it in my heart.

What I wouldn't give to have you here, physically, with us. But to know you are here with us in the only way you can, makes it hurt just a little bit less.

I love you and miss you, Mom.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Life by design? I don't think so...

My Life By Design. It's kind of funny when you think about it. At first it was just a cute play on words about my life and how I design my home. But after these last six months, it's kind of taken on a deeper meaning. When you're creating your home, you're in control, planning things out just how you want them to be. But in life, it's different.

After 38 years, this last year has probably taught me the biggest life lesson – you can't design your life. You can plan, you can hope, you can act – but things will happen that are beyond your control. Good things, bad things, things you never imagined.

2014 was poised to be a great year. You see, 14 is my lucky number. This was the year that everything I wanted would happen. But almost as soon as the new year rang in, it all started to fall apart.

My brave mother who beat breast cancer was rocked wight he news that her cancer had returned, only this time in her liver. As fast as we could wrap our minds around the news, she progressively got worse. Treatment after treatment didn't work and slowly we began to realize, this cancer fight was going to be different. This fight wasn't going to end the same way. It's something I think my mom knew from the beginning but something the rest of us didn't want to face.

I just kept telling myself it would get better, the next treatment would work, the tumors weren't that big, she couldn't leave us - she was too good.

But then she did. On March 28th, my mom died.

That sure as hell wasn't part of the life I designed for myself in my head. My mom was supposed to be around for a long time. We had a plan. She would retire and then help me take care of my kids. It was always our plan. Unfortunately, plans change.

But life doesn't stop, even when you want it to. Because at the same time we found out my mom was sick, I found out I was pregnant. Something we had been hoping and trying for for 3 years. Naively, I thought that this baby would help heal her and that there was no way that she would pass before seeing my baby. But she did. It wasn't - and still isn't - fair that something my mom wanted as much as I did, she wouldn't be around to experience. 

I know that there is probably some cosmic reason for this happening. But I just can't get there yet. It's hard for me to understand how someone so good and loving and selfless could be taken from us so quickly and at such a crucial time in life. I just have to keep the faith that one day we will see each other again and I will finally have the answers I seek. 

So much has happened in these last few months, I can't fit it all in one post. So bear with me, as I sort through my new life and embark on a new path with a sweet little boy (who has an amazing guardian angel) that I can't wait for you all to meet. 

Friday, August 1, 2014

my latest project...

In my last post I alluded to changes that will be impacting some upcoming projects.
Well, this change is perhaps the most impactful of them all....


And I am officially in nesting mode. Nursery is in full swing, so stay tuned for lots of updates! 

Monday, July 7, 2014

Is anyone still out there?

February 26. That was the last time I blogged. 

So much has happened since then and even before then that I am not 100% certain I am ready to talk about on the blog just yet. Let's just say, 2014 has really turned my world upside down. "Oh Jenna, you're just being dramatic," you're probably thinking. I assure you, I am not.

But I can tell you, these changes are bringing up some exciting opportunities for blog posts, so you can look forward to some new home projects in the coming months.

I don't mean to be cryptic, but like I said, some of the things I'm just not ready to discuss yet. But I wanted to explain why I have been so silent.... that is, if anyone out there still cares about my little slice of the blogosphere.

See you soon.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

ground beef stroganoff....

I've added another recipe to my dinnertime arsenal: Ground Beef Stroganoff. It's a classic and I forgot how much I enjoy it. Here's a simple recipe that will sure to have your family asking for seconds.

Ground Beef Stroganoff
1 1/2 lbs ground beef
2 Tbsp flour
1 1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp paprika
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/8 cup butter
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup sour cream
1 bag egg noodles

In small skillet, cook onion in butter until golden. In a large skillet, combine meat, flour, salt, pepper and paprika. Add the cooked onions and brown meat. Add cream of mushroom soup and cook for about 5 minutes. Add sour cream and heat thoroughly.

About the time your meat is browned, bring a pot of water to a boil then add the egg noodles and cook to the direction on the package.

Serve ground beef over noodles. I topped it with a little sprinkle of fresh parmesan and served with a garden salad.

Yummy, yummy in my tummy! It certainly warms you up on these endlessly cold winter nights. 

Friday, February 14, 2014

signed, sealed, delivered: valentine's gifts...

I always manage to find the cutest things in the Target dollar center. A few weeks ago I saw these darling mini-mailboxes and knew they'd be perfect for Valentine's Day. 

I got one for my hubby, mom, dad and sister, and packed them with chocolates and a personal Valentine's note. 

You could fill it with all kinds of things:

  • A bunch of love notes to be opened each day for the month
  • Mementos from past dates
  • Pictures through the years
  • Jewelry, etc.  

They are cute little gifts that don't cost a lot but can be packed with meaning. 
Happy Valentine's Day to you and the ones you love! 

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Target clearance round-up...

You can't beat Target for clearance deals. If you strike at the right time, you can score some great stuff for very little cheddar. Here are a few of the things I found recently:

These 8x10 silver frames were regularly $29.99 each. I got them for $4.98 each. BOOM! 
My gallery wall is coming together. 

This cute bowl is perfect to hold my salt for cooking and matches my olive oil decanter. Only $6.98.

I'd been looking for a table cloth for a side table in our guest room for at least 6 months. This one was $4.98 and good solid fabric. 

All this Target talk is making me want to go shopping!